Music on. World off.

"You never know what you have until you lose it. All the sentimental meanings and the emotional attachments ... they never truly surface until what once was is no more."

It is on and I am gone, further than any place I've ever been. I am above it, with it, in it, on it, around it, below it. I am a part of it and I am free. Thoughts are escaping and I lay back and watch, watch them blow away with the wind. I smile, I laugh, I radiate joy and I am happy. My lips are moving like an automated machine, I do not control it and cannot control it for it has a mind of it's own. Incoherent noises and sputters and everythings arise and I join in with the fun. Around, around, I am here, look at me! I dance with her and the sounds fill the air like nothing in this world.

I have been told that it takes one to know one. The words are spilling out and the emotions are raging and the world has stopped to watch the business that is anything but theirs, yet everyone knows, everyone understands. It is all relative, you and me and me and you, in this world, in this place, at this time, in this very moment. A fight for the glory and the pride and the downfall and the nonsense that it all brings, we kiss and make up and it's all the same. Ignorance is bliss. To hear what is and to shut out what is not, applications to life that are obscure to you are important to me. Flip the table and start all over again, I matter and you don't. Simplicity at its finest, if I do say so myself. The clock is ticking and time is running out, it will not stop for anyone or anything. Run along, run along I say! It is pointless to bother with such obvlivion in life, too much hassle will slow you down.

I have often wished for something different, but time and time again it has failed me. Persistence is of essence, I cannot give up on what will become of it. Some may say a new beginning, a new life, but I say it is not so much of either. It is rather a continuation from what was left behind, a new chapter in a book full of inspirational stories, some good, some bad, some funny, some heart-wrenching. In retrospect, I have had my fair share of all of the above, yet there is still something missing that I cannot pinpoint. I have always thought it to be something missing in my life, some sort of vast vacuum that would be filled one day with an abundance of greatness. My thoughts have slowly gravitated to the fact that it is not a lack of something, but instead a finding and an understanding that I am yet to comprehend. Gibberish and nonsense and random talk, I try so hard to voice my thoughts yet none ever come out the way they are supposed to.

All beginnings and no ends, I am getting frustrated with the sense of confusion building up inside of me. Think and rethink and overthink and ... let it all go down the drain, I say.