Stressed.

H-E-L-P.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

It's times like these that make me remember how much fun life can be.



"Sing like nobody's listening, live like it's Heaven on Earth, work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching."

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I guess it's just human nature to need and to want. To feel lonely when no one is around and to crave for attention is just part of life, is it not? Is this what all this is really about? Do I just want to be noticed, or is it something more? Are you just another one in my life who is testing the waters, or are there ulterior motives behind the actions? Or maybe it happened as a spur of the moment, no strings attached kind of thing. But a girl can't help but wonder. It feels like the last time, when I was so caught up that it got the better of me. Am I feeling this way because I am trying to justify my actions? Is there even a possibility of something greater, or am I just hanging onto a moment that meant nothing? People talk and I listen. Words that make me wonder if everything was just because things were a little out of control, people were a little out of their state of mind. So what will it be? I really should leave it all behind as I leave tomorrow, but I just can't seem to shake it. What has gotten hold of me? I need some clarity, and I need it now.

Driven to succeed.

Completely and utterly disgusted at myself.
Things need to change soon, and things need to change fast.

I must, I must, I must.

Repulsive, much?

Waiting to exhale.

How can something so twisted and so empty be so beautiful? Emotionless and stone cold but roaring with so much fire, desire that I cannot keep inside me.

"If they eyes are the window to the soul, then grief is the door. As long as it's closed it's the barrier between knowing and not knowing. Walk away from it and it stays closed forever. But open it, and walk through it, and pain becomes truth." -Dexter

I have been preparing for this my entire life.

Serenity.

I could ask for nothing more. Peace and calmness that transcends all feelings. The world so real that I can reach out and grab it. Sun pouring through the windows and I smile a real, genuine smile.

Ah-la-la-la-la-la-la life is wonderful,
Ah-la-la-la-la-la-la life goes full circle.
Ah-la-la-la-la-la-la life is wonderful,
Ah-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ...



It is everything I have ever imagined it to be.

Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder. Don't you know the hardest part is over? Let it in, let your clarity define you. In the end we will only just remember how it feels. Our lives are made in these small hours, these little wonders, these twists and turns of fate. Time falls away, but these small hours, these small hours still remain. Let it slide, let your troubles fall behind you. Let it shine until you feel it all around you. And I don't mind if it's me you need to turn to, we'll get by. It's the heart that really matters in the end. Our lives are made in these small hours, these little wonders, these twists and turns of fate. Time falls away, but these small hours, these small hours still remain. All of my regret will wash away some how, but I cannot forget the way I feel right now. In these small hours, these little wonders, these twists and turns of fate. Time falls away but these small hours, these small hours still remain. These little wonders still remain.

Thoughtlessness.

"It's been a while and things have changed. I know that reality has caught up to the both of us and that we're just trying to make it through. Most of the time I don't even have a second thought about it. But then there are the times when one tiny little thought manages to sneak its way in and the floodgates open. And I'm rendered useless because all I can do is sit there and think and wish times hadn't changed. It's nothing big. Or maybe that's what I tell myself. But to pry myself away from the thoughts of the past in my head ... now that's a different story. The memories and the questions and the hopes that are now long gone ... Sometimes a girl just wants answers. And why no one has those answers are a mystery in itself. What I'm really trying to say is that I miss you. Not specifically in the way we had before, but even mere communication and understanding, it's not the same. People tell me you never love the same way twice. I wonder if it's true. But all I can do is wonder, until life brings me elsewhere. And until then I guess I'll just continue on and pretend like it doesn't matter. But when it comes down to it, I think you really know deep down inside."

Satisfaction.

There are times in life when life itself is moving too fast for you to keep pace with, and it is at times like these that you wish you could just slow down the world, take your time and set life in slow motion. It is also at these most crucial points in life where you choose to not follow in the hustle and bustle of those around you but instead to walk aimlessly, observing rather than pursuing.

In retrospect, I guess I've seen it all, done it all. I've been ahead of the crowd, leading and setting the pace. I've been in the crowd, following, going where my front, back, left and right took me. I've been behind the crowd, running to catch up, stopping for breath, trying to push my way in. But really, what good does it do, to be first, middle, or last? Is there any glory in being the leader or the follower? I'd much prefer to let the crowd pass me, with all its entirety a good distance away. Because what follows is a peace that transcends anything, everything. The knowledge that life has moved on past you, the knowledge that you are able to stand alone, unbothered and infinitesimal in a world so big, the knowledge that you can live your life the way you want it, the knowledge that nothing can come between you and yourself ... it is one in million.

It is sad to see how many people have thrown away the opportunity to actually live. Most don't even realize that it has come and gone. But for those who are able to capture it - it is where life truly begins.

Here and now.

Peace and serenity.
Love and security.
Joy and happiness.

This is life, and I couldn't ask for anything more.



There really is no place like home.