6.04.2007

Life is wonderful.

Eyes focussed on the horizon ahead, cars zoom by as I drive towards the sun. Nowhere to go and no destination in mind, I drive along aimlessly, driving. The monotonous voice of a singer plays in the background, but I can hardly hear what she has to say. To clear my mind, to escape reality, to steer clear from the truth, to wipe away all the worries and troubles and pointless thoughts in my head - really, just to get away from it all. The singer belches out another tune, I'm going to miss you, I don't want you to leave. The song ends as I speed past an old lady in her car, my words of annoyance spilling out uncontrollably. I cannot, I must not. Turning off the road and into a deserted neighbourhood, the houses are but four pieces of wood nailed on to a shabby roof. I slow down and crawl along the road, taking in all that is around me. My mother used to bring me lunch everyday, though she could barely walk, barely talk. I was ashamed of her, I told my friends she was my maid. I didn't want to be seen with her, I was embarassed, and she knew that. She'd come by everyday and give me my lunch and see that look I had in my eyes, and she'd smile, tip her head, and leave. I told her to stop, to stop coming to school and bringing me lunch, I told her I was old enough to buy my own. With a hurt look in her eyes, she told me that she wanted to do this for me because this was all she could do, yet I turned around and walked out before she could finish her sentence. A boy runs along the street with a torn soccer ball, his clothes filthy from playing in the dirt. He is laughing and I wonder who this boy is, how he can be smiling, why he is so happy. He sees me and waves excitedly, but I drive on by, barely noticing his presence. The next day, as I sat in my class right before lunch, I wondered how I could hide my friends from seeing my mother. Class came and went, and before I knew it, lunch was here. I waited and waited and didn't see my mom and wondered, 'Maybe she finally took my advice. Thank goodness for that, I won't have to be embarassed by her presence anymore.' As I looked up from my train of thought, I saw teachers rushing towards me, frantic. I wanted to know what was wrong, what had happened, and as the words came out, the world stopped. 'Your mom was hit by a car on the way to school today.' I ran out of the school, past the playground, out onto the road where my mom was hit. She lay lifeless on the ground as paramedics tried to revive her. The ground was soaked in red as her body lay stiff and she lay dead. I ran up to her and cried, shouting her name as loud as I could, but she was gone, so far gone. I could barely recognize her, she was hit so bad. And as I reached for her hand to hold one last time, I saw that she had done this for me. Clutched tightly in her hand was the lunch she made for me, for the daughter that she loved. I buried my head in her chest and hugged her for the last time, wishing that I could turn back the hands of time. By now I had reached a dead end, with nowhere to go. I turned off the car and sat there, the tears glimmering in the sun as they rolled down my face. It was then that I knew what I had to do. After years of searching for answers to questions I could not face, I had finally found the one and only answer to all the questions combined. I turned on my car and turned around, heading back the way I came, heading back home.

It takes a crane to build a crane, it takes two floors to make a storey, it takes an egg to make a hen, it takes a hen to make an egg, there is no end to what I'm saying. It takes a thought to make a word, and it takes some words to make an action. It takes some work to make it work, it takes some good to make it hurt, it takes some bad for satisfaction. Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful, ah la la la la la la life goes full circle. It takes a night to make it dawn, and it takes a day to make you yawn. It takes some old to make you young, it takes some cold to know the sun, it takes the one to have the other. It takes no time to fall in love, but it takes you years to know what love is. And it takes some fears to make you trust, it takes some tears to make it rust, it takes some dust to make it polished. Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful, ah la la la la la la life goes full circle. It takes some silence to make sound, and it takes a loss before you found it. It takes a road to go nowhere, it takes a toll to make you care, it takes a hole to make a mountain. Ah la la la la la life is wonderful, ah la la la la la life goes full circle. It is so wonderful, it is so meaningful.