It just is, no questions or doubts.

"Love enables you to put your deepest feelings and fears in the palm of your partner's hand, knowing they will be handled with care." -Carl S. Avery

I think this is why I have such trouble with love.

Not that I really know what it is to begin with, anyway. But I stick to my deduction [experience is key], that I will never fall in love. Do not fret, my dear, there's plenty of time, plenty of people, plenty of lessons that are yet to be learned. There are plenty more melting hearts and heartbreaks, plenty more arguements and make-ups, plenty more of everything until I will truly understand the meaning of all this ... nonsense [if that day ever comes].

I want to, I need to, I have to, yet I can't. There is something wrong, something so drastically wrong with this picture. It's funny how everyone else can see it, feel it, know it, and I sit here as clueless as ever. Somebody help me, shake me, smack me, something! I think I am just too blinded by cynicism. Not so much my own, rather, those around me, those I see, the actions and the words, the intentions and what not. Am I confused? Most definitely. But what is a girl to do when she's backed up against the wall with no way out and a voice that cannot be heard? I want so much for people to know, but I can't risk it, I just can't. It needs to end, soon, faster, faster. I can't wait, I really can't.

Ps. It's all coming back to me now.
Pps. Why? Why not? How? It wasn't supposed to happen this way.